Sadness. Emotionless.

It's been a while since I last updated my blog. Before I update about myself. I'm gonna talk about some thought of mine after last night drink-drank-drunk section with my brothers.

I am a girl that can't hide my feelings, especially sadness. All these while, I used to spill everything to my best friends whenever shits happened. But now, I don't do the same anymore. I don't tell much people, or some time I don't tell at all. Because I don't know how to tell. Last night, my brothers forced me to admit I am sad. Lollll. Feel so warm thou 'cause they feel the emotional of mine. 

I am the type of girl that will be very very sad over things even it's small matter. Shit happened again in the past few days, amazingly, I only feel sad the moment when it happened. When I woke up the next day, I feel fine. Just so fine like nothing has happened before. It feels weird, but I am cool with it. And it's just like no one ever realize something happened to me, I guess I am too good in hiding already. Lolll.

So, can someone define sad? All I know now is, I think I have reached a sad level that I don't feel the sadness anymore. Is this consider sad? Hahaha. I think so. When someone is sad but can't cry, the person is really really sad. Heard this from drama and I feel so trueee. Because I am at this level already, I think I am.

I have been sad for a long time. When did I feel really happy all these while? Totally no idea. Because the sadness has covered up all the happiness I feel. Showing people that I am happy, but who really knows what I feel inside? It's killing me I think my heart died already.

So here I am telling you people out there: I am officially turning off my emotion from now on. Just like what Elena Gilbert did when she felt like tearing herself into pieces when Jeremy died. I have to be emotionless in order to protect myself. Don't blame me nor judge me, you have no idea what I have gone through.

So hello, to the new me. Hello, TungKaiYee. You're gonna feel alive again, very soon. :)